Are you a heterosexual? Feeling discriminated against by a persecuted minority? Why can’t we celebrate what makes us common and powerful? Just because we’re not unique, it doesn’t mean we’re not unique in our membership in a supermajority. In honor of the recent call for #HeterosexualPrideDay, I’ve compiled a list of ten benefits you, too, can enjoy from being heterosexual. Please add ones I’ve missed in the comments. Haters need not apply. Your relationships are depicted in complex, varied, and approving ways in all mainstream RomComs. Actually, pretty much all mainstream movies ever made. The government sanctions your relationships with easy to use marriage forms and rewarding tax breaks. Your ability to adopt is not hindered by your sexuality. There is a 0% threat that … [Read more...]
For the Love of Us All, No More Deplorables, Snowflakes, or Nasty Women
8 Labels I Never Want to Hear Again There are several words that have gained in popularity over the last few years that I don’t ever want to hear again: Deplorables, snowflakes, libtards, nasty women, fly-over states, urban elite, hillbilly, and liberal bubble, to name a few. These are not words we use to describe ourselves, they are words we stab at others like weapons. These are not words that explain our differences, they are words that reduce us to our differences. It is not difference that divides us, it is our contempt for difference. We can be connected to one another, despite (or because of) our differences, but the minute you start curling your lip at who someone is, the connection is over. Words like snowflakes and deplorables are labels that signal that we aren’t … [Read more...]
Racial Purity is a Lie and Here’s Why
With the recent increase in folks’ throwing shade and swastikas on other people’s ethnicities, I thought I’d take a moment to remind us all that racial purity is as fictional as Draco Malfoy. Here are four reasons why race categories don’t mean what you think they do. There are No Clear Racial Divides: Like water, human genetics flow around the world, sometimes pooling up in isolated places but never really disconnected from everyone else. American genetics are no different. If there are pools of particularly briny water, or mosquito-laden water, or salt-free water, it’s because that water has been temporarily isolated from the free flow of water around the world. It is never completely disconnected, and it is never completely pure. Even the clearest flowing natural spring water has … [Read more...]
Postmodernism Comes to America
Fake News and the End of Facts I recently had the pleasure (?) of engaging in a fruitless debate on social media with a friend of a friend. One of the innumerable fake news stories circulating this year accused a presidential candidate of some ungodly behavior. While I do not usually spend my time defending politicians, this particular claim was so unfounded and clearly refuted that I had to put in an oar with some supporting credible sources. The response to my response? “Well, anyone can find any facts to support any opinion.” The concern over fake news has been a source of nonstop discussion for the last several months, whether focusing on its influence over the election, its success thanks to social media algorithms, or its connection to foreign sources, foreign governments, and … [Read more...]
Casual Racism and the Problem of White Identity
My family is super white. We love brunch at IKEA, we have varying relationships with rhythm, and we feel slightly guilty about everything. Aside from our penchant for recording artists like Taylor Swift and John Mayer, however, our whiteness is hard to define. It is the great unmarked ethnicity, looming large but vague over more discernible ethnic identities. It is the lurking nature of white identity that makes it so oblivious to the oppressions and discriminations faced by other races. It’s what makes it so easy for us to inadvertently perpetuate them. And it’s what often pushes us in dangerous directions when we seek to define and celebrate whiteness. Indeed, the greatest sign of our whiteness is perhaps the fact that we are perpetually surprised by racism, even when it’s our … [Read more...]
On the Backs of Other Mothers
I had no idea I was singing the saddest song about motherhood of all time. It all started when I became curious about a lullaby my grandmother used to sing to me. It turns out that “Go to Sleepy Little Baby”, which I now sing to my babies, was from a radio show in the 1940s – The Judy Canova Show. Canova ended each episode with the lullaby, which she remembered hearing from her own mother. But the original song is much more disturbing. Although some connect Canova’s version to a Swedish lullaby, the most likely source is an African-American song, All the Pretty Little Horses, which dates to the time of slavery. Hidden in the sweet lyrics about cake and promises of horses and carriages is an often-omitted verse that is shockingly grim. As the enslaved nanny sings to the white baby … [Read more...]
Of Fantasy and Daughters
I recently had the excellent fortune to guest blog on The Horn Book's new venture: Family Reading about my love of reading fantasy, and sharing the books with my young daughter. Fantasy (not, I'm slightly ashamed to admit, ethnography) remains my favorite genre, largely because of the way it allows us to work through complex concepts with fresh eyes. Fantasy takes cultural elements, values, and dialogues we are familiar with, and detaches them from their embedded cultural context. In other words, it lets us talk about tricky subjects - race, gender, power, religion - without all the baggage that normally accompanies the concept. As a mom, it is especially important to me that I give my kids thoughtful ways to tackle these tough subjects, while also giving them a space outside of … [Read more...]
The relevANTH Guide to Choosing a Culturally Sensitive Halloween Costume
It's that time of year again, when millions of Americans hit the streets dressed as terrifying celebrities, food items, and ethically questionable depictions of others' cultural groups. To prevent West Side Story-like brawls this Halloween, and to save you from seeing the looks of horror in your neighbors' eyes when they open the door and realize you and/or your children have absolutely no moral compass, here's a quick guide to how to judge if your costume is culturally appropriate or whether you need to dig out some cardboard from the basement and get to work on some sad, last-minute, duct-taped robot costume. And as a special seasonal service, feel free to post photos of your costumes on Twitter (@relevANTH_com) and I'll give my expert anthropological opinion on how offensive it is, … [Read more...]
There was “no racism before Obama”. Wait, what now?
Welcome to the (sur)reality that is the American election of 2016. The latest in a series of Perplexing Statements that People Believe Despite Immeasurable Evidence to the Contrary was uttered by an Ohio Trump campaign chair, Kathy Miller: “I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected. We never had problems like this.” Miller, who has since resigned, went on to paint a picture of a nation whose streets were paved with gold, and whose history was as accurate and factual as that of the land of Oz: “If you’re black and you haven’t been successful in the last 50 years, it’s your own fault. You’ve had every opportunity, it was given to you,” she said. “You’ve had the same schools everybody else went to. You had benefits to go to college that white kids didn’t have. … [Read more...]
When Nature Has to Conform to Culture: Highly Sensitive People in a Nonsensitive Culture
Elaine Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Person was like my own personal Da Vinci Code—riveting, compelling, and totally solved a mystery about myself I didn’t know existed. My whole life I felt more worn out than others, more overwhelmed and overstimulated. But being raised in a Catholic family with a Protestant work ethic and an American intolerance for anything perceived as weak, I saw my sensitivity and heightened perceptivity as personal failings to overcome. Why do I notice the tension in a couple’s conversation across the room when their immediate neighbors are chatting happily unaware? Or the fact that a child is about to fall off a chair fifteen feet away from me when his babysitter is oblivious next to him? <Just mind your own business.> Why do sore muscles, or tight … [Read more...]
