Y’all Qaeda may be the newest sarcastic term for the Oregon militiamen, but embedded in the critique of militiamen as terrorists akin to Al Qaeda and ISIS (another favored term being Vanilla ISIS) is a regional slam. The use of “y’all” in the term is a signifier that these are country folk, with all the negative stereotypes that follow the category. And I’ll bet my daughter’s current college fund (don’t get excited, there’s like 3 dollars in there) that the term will spread well beyond the current militia-tastrophe. As a current resident of New England, I can tell you that the image behind the term is precisely how many northerners perceive almost all of the rest of the United States, from the South to the mountainous West: insincerely polite, “Y’all” and “ma’am” talking, racist, fascist, gun-toting, supposedly-Christian, anti-government, slow-driving, country bumpkins. On the other hand, the classy moniker “Massholes”, shorthand for Massachusetts A-holes, captures the way so many from the South and West perceive the entire region: “pahk the cah”, 85-decibel-voiced, Dunkin Donuts-eating, Catholic atheist, cut-you-off-in-traffic-then-give-you-the-finger, Socialist, big-government-loving, New England douchbags. Swap a few particulars and you’re characterizing New York and New Jersey, too.

Why all the regional hating, y’all? Clearly, there is something behind the labels fueling their use. New England impatience, Midwestern stoicism, Californian flakiness are all recognizable elements, otherwise we would find nothing funny in Jimmy Fallon and Rachel Dratch playing obnoxious Boston teens or in Frances McDormand’s absurd pragmatism in Fargo, and we wouldn’t have lengthy debates over the exact factor behind Californians’ inability to keep social commitments.

But what happens if we flip the labels inside out and explore the positive values under the negative acts? What if Bostonians don’t honk because they are hateful demons in human disguise, but rather because they value efficient traffic systems over interpersonal courtesy? What if Southerners aren’t stupidly slow, they just value interpersonal harmony over über-organization?

Having spent most of my adult life in two extremely different states, here are my takes on a handful of values behind social behavior in North Carolina and Massachusetts:

	North Carolina	Massachusetts
Most important element in social interaction with strangers:	Courtesy – It’s appropriate to come to a complete stop on the highway to allow someone to merge into your lane. Honking your horn is like painting “I’m from out of town” on your back window.	Efficiency – If someone doesn’t begin driving immediately upon the light turning green, you have a moral imperative to honk at them so they can rectify the situation. It is wholly rude for them to hold up a street full of cars behind them.
Most important element in community functioning:	Polite and Peaceful Interaction – If you see someone you know on the sidewalk near where you are mowing your lawn, turn off your mower so you can have a lengthy exchange in good humor. If you have to get back to your yard quickly, make up some excuse and apologize profusely for being so rude.	Movement – If you are blowing leaves in the yard, wave to your neighbor but do not stop unless they approach you directly. Then keep the blower on idle to indicate your need to finish your task. If they are so rude as to keep talking, curtail their bad behavior by curtly complaining about everything you have to do, then begin moving towards the leaves again.
Most important conveyance to strangers:	Demonstrating Social Recognition – Be sure to demonstrate that you see people on the street by making eye contact, waving, and making a friendly greeting.	Privacy – Be sure to keep people from feeling uncomfortable by avoiding eye contact and any unnecessary verbal exchanges.

 

The difference in values leads to some—ahem—very different reactions and moral justifications in social situations.

	North Carolina response:	Massachusetts response:
Should you wave to strangers?	Of course. I’m a polite person.	Of course not. I don’t know them.
Should you wave thankfully to a driver who let you merge?	Of course. I’m indicating gratitude.	Of course not. The interaction went as it should.

 

How would you characterize the regional values for Northwest, Midwest, or Southwest? For your particular ethnic community? How do they give rise to miscommunications with visitors?